Marilyn Puder-York, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York who specializes in workplace stress issues, offers suggestions to people via a post in on online site for the American Psychological Association. In it, she answers the most often asked questions by people who are having difficulty dealing with a cranky, unreasonable or difficult boss.
When asked in a generic sense how people should manage the average difficult boss, Puder-York suggests trying to dig a little deeper to find out what’s going on with that boss. Perhaps he or she is having difficulties at home, or there are medical issues. Learning about the reasons why someone behaves the way they do can lead to new ways of dealing with them, especially if compassion is what’s needed most.
Next, Puder-York responds to people who feel they have been unfairly criticized by their boss and want to confront them about it. She says confrontations are rarely a reasonable way to handle such situations as it usually leads to a defensive posture that doesn’t help anyone. Instead she suggests people figure out a way to present their issues without being confrontational. Granted, it’s not always easy to do so, but she seems confident it can be done if people will only try hard enough.
She then follows up with advice for people in responding to criticism from a boss. She says no matter how much effort it takes, always try to take the criticism as valuable information. After all, it is you who works for them, not the other way around. To succeed in your job, you need to learn to do what is asked, and if part of that learning process involves taking criticism as a way to learn what is wanted, then so be it.
When asked if job stress is on the rise, she of course says it is, which as most would guess, is due to downsizing and general layoffs rampart in the business community.
As for ways that employees can lessen the stress they feel from fear of downsizing and possible job loss, or other stress inducers at work, she says the best defense is a good offense. The more employees know, the less stress they feel; so if a person is worried about their own job, find out if there is anything to worry about rather than cowering in the corner waiting for bad news to arrive.
The bottom line, it appears is, in order to best deal with unreasonable bosses and the stress inherent in the new workplace, be positive without being confrontational, but at the same time, don’t be afraid to ask questions to find out what is going on.