Oh, Al Gore. You did your best in 2000 to obliterate the Democratic Party. Now you want to destroy the credibility of the climate change advocates.
I shouldn’t use the term “climate change advocates.” That makes it sound like you can reasonably have a counter opinion. I should break it down like this: there are two types of people – those who acknowledge that the Earth’s climate is changing, and those who have had their brains removed and replaced with a value-pack-sized portion of Lipton regular tea bags.
No one can deny climate change. You just can’t. Summers are getting warmer, winters are becoming harsher, glaciers are melting, ocean temperature are increasing, and hurricanes are becoming huger dickheads. Denying global warming is like denying Burger King coffee. Both exist and both are awful.
And don’t give me that unimaginative FOX News horse urine of “Look, it snowed in Maine. Therefore, no global warming.” That’s like saying the moon only exists 12 hours a day because you can’t see it during the day. Read a science textbook.
I don’t mean to yell, my gorgeous woodchucks. I know you don’t think such things. You’re smarter than that. I love you so.
It’s hard enough to deal with climate change skeptics when your weapon is proven science. It’s downright impossible when you compare them to racists.
“There came a time when racist comments would come up in the course of the conversation and in years past they were just natural. Then there came a time when people would say, ‘Hey, man why do you talk that way, I mean that is wrong. I don’t go for that so don’t talk that way around me. I just don’t believe that.’ That happened in millions of conversations and slowly the conversation was won. We have to win the conversation on climate.”
Yep, that’s what Al Gore said. Sure, there’s nuance to the argument, but “nuance” is a Frenchy-sounding word, so moron American teabaggers don’t go for it. So, let’s take out the nuance and translate thus:
“If you’re not a filthy, granola-chewing, hippy environmentalist, you’re a racist.”
Why? Why is that always the go-to argument for liberals? The answer just might be that liberals have very small brains that only have room for the word “racist.” Why else would everything come down to that?
This garbage is why no one trusts liberals. Come up with a new epithet, please. How about “Martian Penisfaces?” Try it. “The Republicans are trying to end Medicare because they’re a bunch of Martian Penisfaces.” Works for me.
Al Gore, you’re supposed to be smarter than this. Give us the facts, let them speak for themselves. Just don’t speak yourself for a while.
Oops, I left the kitchen light on while I was writing this. I guess I hate black people.