It’s All About Kim Kardashian

This topic was going to come up sooner or later. You can’t but see her everywhere and yes she is a she (you said she twice), which doesn’t surprise us as females loved to be looked at. This lassie has been there done it, and is still doing it. She has it all, if you know what I mean, use your imagination, if you know what that is.

Have you waited long enough like a die-hard fan who would do anything for their idol. ‘Oh will you tell’em the price son’ (Advertisement for Little Do’er Carpets in Sydney Australia). ‘Ok, ok, ok… it’s KK’. ‘An AK you mean.’ ‘No KK.’ ‘KK who?’ Enough, enough, I can’t take it anymore. It’s….. oh my God that red carpet has become really faded…. Kim Kardashian.

Doo doo sha boom (or something like that), there she is, KK. Women, hide up your men, KK is on the town. Oh my God, those looks, and she knows it, which makes a lethal combination….those….and that…. somebody stop her.

Where do you start with KK, yes now she’s an abbreviation, like J-LO (Jennifer Lopez) and P. Diddy (Puff Daddy). What hasn’t she done or got, ‘baby did a bad, bad thing’ (Rock ‘n Roll singer George Thoroughgood). KK has a massive fortune, money we’re talking about here people, and millions; hands up all the male gold-diggers. I can tell you now she has heavily insured her (and everyone elses) bodily assets (and what assets are those) and don’t make me say it, I might trip and fall over and get compensation, which would join the list of incidents caused of KK, ‘yes, it was KK’s fault’. KK is now a new excuse for anything that goes wrong, for boys at school, men at work or women KK player-haters.

Then there’s the thousand-and-one photo and video shoots for KK. My eyes are either dry from staring (gawking) too long or pouring wet from crying because KK did it or my wife hit me hard over the head…it was KK’s fault. The reality TV show, or shows, I can’t keep count (yes Kardashians multiply), so get real, it’s KK and the gang. The interviews, and really interesting and exciting conversations as well, ‘um, yeah, ha ha……………..(that’s a long pause KK), I’m Kim Kardashian. Madame Tussaud has a wax figure of KK, with no talking, just looking, and looking, and looking, but it’s not the real KK. Front row seats to get some eye candy of KK waxing for real (that would be an awesome stage or reality show in itself) would be better… ‘as smooth as a….’

Now KK wants to sing, ‘it speaks’. Now I’ve seen KK everywhere (no not in my dreams; I have to say that because of my wife) and but I still have not heard her so-called song hits. Does KK sound rough as sand paper or like bells under each tooth. Maybe she’s done a Milli Vanilli and mimed the song with the focus to ‘look at moi (me), look at moi (me)’ (Kath & Kim, comedy TV show, Sydney, Australia). Then the KK marriage; guys would be spitting chips, ‘why not me’. And the guy was like an Eiffel tower standing over KK. Now it’s Lil’ KK. The KK fragrance (perfume) would be used by guys as well, just to get some KK on them. Yes a body hair and skin follicle of KK in every bottle (mixed emotions). But I think the guys would need the KK perfume even more with all their gawking stirring up a mammoth sweat, causing them to emit an anti-KK odour (quick to the KK bat-cave).

KK could have some one-on-ones with other stars like Beyonce and J-LO (but those two can sing as well as strut-the-stuff), ‘mine is better than yours’. Guys would be viewing the debate, or battle, from their favourite arm-chair, and saying how they’re both good (KK vs…..) because, it’s all good.

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