Jealous of My Dog

I understand that not all pets, inparticular dogs, are treated the way my wife and I treat ours. Everytime I see that commercial for the Humane Society, I tear up. When I watch Animal Cops on Animal Planet, I tear up. When I hear about the horrific treatment Michael Vick’s dogs endured, I tear up (and get upset!). I know that not everyone is a dog lover, and some people have deep-seeded fears of them (mostly because a human mistreated the poor animal).

But our dogs are spoiled. I can’t remember the last time we came home from grocery shopping without a toy for them. Their toy box makes the toy box I had when I was a kid look like a jewelry box. And the food they eat! This is going to sound horrible, but our dogs probably eat better than some children in Africa! We dress them up for holidays, give them birthday parties with cake and party hats, and even give them nice little beds to sleep on–they never use the beds, of course–our furniture is evidently more accomodating.

Gathering all this information in has lead me to believe my dogs have it made. I mean, they really live on easy street. They either sleep or play all day, get fed when we eat, go with us on trips, and get the best medicine we can afford–and they don’t have to work for it at all! They never help pay for the carpet to get cleaned, never help clean up our car windows from all their slobbers, they rely on us to wipe off their feet when they come in from the snow, and never once offer to pay for a vet bill!

This whole scenario has me seriously reconsidering the reincarnation idea. If you’re a bad person in this life, maybe you come back as one of Michael Vick’s dogs, or a Paris Hilton purse-dog (You may think you got it made as a Paris Hilton purse-dog, but come on, really? Think about it…). If you’re a good person in this life, maybe you’ll come back as a real dog lover’s dog–like Ceasar Milan’s, or…mine! I’m just glad I’m a good person whether or not this idea is true.

You ever been asked the question if you could switch places with anyone, who would it be? Obvious answer for me is my dog. I wouldn’t have to worry about having a job–heck, my job as a dog would be to poop outside and chase squirrels. I wouldn’t have to worry about paying bills, buying Christmas presents, writing letters, paying taxes, getting groceries, fixing the car, remodeling the house, or being un-friended on facebook. I could defecate on anyone’s property, hump the neighbor’s leg, chase after cars, rip up the newspaper, and get fed on time and sleep on a couch because it looks cute, even though I’m supposed to sleep on my pillow on the floor.

I guess you could say that dogs pay us back with love and loyalty and friendship. I do really appreciate that our dogs have hardly been trained, but listen and understand and obey as if they are intelligent. Honestly, I’ve worked with people that pale in comparison to the character traits our dogs exhibit. Sometimes I think some dogs would make better human beings than some human beings I have encountered. Unfortunately I don’t believe that statement to be true if it were the other way around, though…

So, I guess I’ve got my fingers crossed for the whole reincarnation thing. Besides, it doesn’t hurt being nice while I’m human!

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