Once a Cheater Always a Cheater?

It’s like being a widow but you don’t have a place to go to feel close to him. There is no cemetary to visit, no urn on the mantle. You can’t look up into the sky and feel like you are talking to him in heaven. The first few nights after “the death”, friends and family will come over to make sure you are cared for and not alone. They make sure you eat something and get some sleep. They hug you and cry with you and tell you what a bastard he is. You try to make sense of it all. How did I not know? Was there something I should have said or done? How could he just leave me with no warning?

Like a death, it is still something I am not completely at peace with. I was over HIM the second I found out but I am not so sure even now that I am over the situation or how abruptly it ended. How he thought so little of me that he could cheat on the person he vowed to love and honor till death do us part, then leave the next day without a word, an apology, or even a good- bye. It’s been almost 14 years since that night when the slut’s fiancee called me to tell me that he caught them together. It was like someone punched me in the stomach, it literally knocked the wind out of me. The three of them were co-workers so not only was “Tom” cheating on me, he was also messing around with his co-workers fiancee. The next morning “Tom”came home, got his crap and left. I never saw him again.

I have since re-married and we have a beautiful 7- year old daughter. My husband is the sweetest, smartest funniest person I know. He loves me unconditionally and treats me like a queen. I am totally over my ex but every time I hear from a friend or a resident (at the apartment complex where I work) that the same thing happened to them, I sort of re-live that time in my life over again. It had me down for the count a good year before I was able to get out there, date, smile and not cry myself to sleep.

Just the other day I was talking to a resident who this happened to. “Linda’s” ex actually cheated with and married her distant cousin. Poor Linda had to see the two of them at a funeral the other day. My Sister In Law’s sister had the same thing happen to her as well. Her ex cheated with her best friend and yes, they are now married and have a toddler. It’s amazing to me how many people I know who cheated and left their spouse is still with the “other woman”.

I grew up hearing the old saying “cheaters never prosper” and “once a cheater always a cheater” yet my ex and the ex of so many others ended up married to the person they cheated with and many years later are still together. My question to you is, has this happened to you and if so, are they still together? If not, how long did the romance last? Maybe we need to re-think the old sayings. Once a cheater, now a great husband and father? Hmm, maybe now.

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