The little Black Dress Society Inc., has become very involved in helping woman across the nation with domestic violence awareness as a non-profit organization.
Amanda Coulon Graybill is the founder of the organization and has begun some great projects in helping woman to Love, Believe, and Dream and find the hope to remove the blindfold that hid the shame of abuse.
Besides that, the name itself is a magnet. The Little Black Dress Society is a classy organization representing a classic dress, but as Amanda is quick to point out, “It’s not about the dress, it’s about the woman wearing it.”
There are several projects that are ongoing yearly that will help many woman’s lives and reshape the person they have become. Many abused woman become insecure, closed in and at times emotionless.
I say this as a survivor of physical abuse and almost losing my life at the hands of my ex-husband. I have gone through many roads of uncertainty of my behaviors, internal feelings of doubt for myself, and just the uncertainty of moving forward and allowing another person to come into my life.
Understanding each thing that you go through, while in the process of healing is very confusing at times. But, after meeting Amanda and many of the women in “The little Black Dress Society Inc.” they have made me aware that many of the things I have gone through are pretty normal.
Getting your life back:
If you are still in an abusive relationship and want to get out, please don’t attempt to do this on your own. I personally had a friend that was a counselor advise me along the way. Showed me the right way to get out without causing my ex to become heated.
Always seek out help from others that are experienced in this field, don’t allow someone to give you information that can’t help you throughout this process. While it’s okay to vent or to reach out to friends, please don’t take their advice entirely unless they have been through something like this or they can help you by placing you in the hands of a professional to assist you.
After you leave:
Once you are gone, don’t go back. Stay out of site, make your employer aware that you have a protective order in place. I had a protective order and my ex still broke into my home. So be aware that although you have made all the right choices, you still need to be alert. If you are not in hiding through a shelter you may still be in danger and should always have someone close by on call, that can help you at all times. My ex was fully aware of all the laws, the time it would take for a Police Officer to get to the location and how far he needed to be when they arrived.
Keep moving forward:
Its okay to have those feeling of being addicted to all those things that made you leave in the first place. Just keep moving forward and they will subside soon enough. I say this through experience and through speaking with other abused woman.
When someone calls you every five minutes your mind becomes addicted to that call, when someone tells you that you can’t socialize or have friends, your mind continues to feel afraid to interact with others, when someone tells you that no one will ever do anything to help you, your mind starts to believe that no one will ever help you.
Your mind will also miss that person, making it difficult to move forward, but I tell you this from my own experience, move forward. It will only get better. All those feelings of uncertainty, of being controlled of the missed calls, of the fear of socializing will all go away. I promise you they will.
Don’t be afraid to share your story:
It took me a long time to admit that I was a victim of abuse. I use too say it was my fault for staying but I am learning that nothing was my fault. I didn’t do anything to cause another person to take advantage of me or to attack me verbally and physically.
It was very hard to admit to my children, my parents, my family and my friends that I almost lost my life at the hands of my ex-husband. It’s been difficult to express what I feel about that person yet I am learning daily how to become myself again. Just move forward and understand that by sharing your story you can help others heal as well as allow them to understand there is a way out.You are your own testimony.
I didn’t realize that getting involved with other women that have gone through abuse would be the beginning of my healing. It’s not about trying to tell your story, so that others will understand what you have gone through. It’s about connecting with other women that already know your story so that together you can help other women that are still there, in the midst of the abuse.
I don’t have time to explain my story to someone that would never understand or to someone that doesn’t care to understand. My story is painful as it is, my healing doesn’t allow me to be involved with individuals that pass judgment on me. It only allows me to assist and empower other women that have gone through the same thing or are in the process of escaping the abuser.
When you get involved you will know that no words have to be spoken between victims of abuse, it is an understanding, a voice without words, a connection that no one will ever understand. It is a strength like no other. So get involved and be part of something bigger than you, its very healing.
The Little Black Dress Society Inc.:
I am part of this team of women for healing and to help other women enrich their lives the best that I can.
If you or someone that you know is going through any kind of abusive please contact this group for further assistance.
Lisa Marie Dominguez