Ah the teenage years, one of the most challenging times as a parent is dealing with emotional teens. As hormones fluctuate and kick in those mood swings parents often get frustrated and want to scream. So how do you keep the peace and create an environment without losing your sanity?
Give them some breathing room
Raising teens requires a certain amount of trust which in turn creates breathing room. If we raise our children with our values and morals it’s easier to trust our teens and gain this breathing room.
Focus your energy on what’s most important
Stop for a moment and think about what’s really important to you as a parent. Is it that your teen does well in school? That their room is always clean? Or perhaps it’s simply that they speak to you in a civil tone. By focusing your energy on what’s most important you can let the little things go and relax and enjoy parenting a whole lot more.
Get to know their friends
Every parents nightmare is the time their child walks in with a friend that you know is going to be lousy. Get to know your teens friends and talk to them when they pop in with your teen. Sometimes you’ll find that looks can be deceiving.
Once you really get to know the teens you can help your teen to make better choices if you don’t like their friends by telling them what qualities you look for in a friend. Keep it in your teens ball park though and allow them to make their own choices. Your job is to simply lay out the facts and step back and allow your teen to learn from their own mistakes.
Don’t create rules in a hurry
It’s easy to create a rule in a hurry when we don’t want our teen to do something or we don’t want them to go somewhere. Take a step back and focus on the real reason you’re creating a new rule.
Have a plan for checking in
As parents we worry when our teens are late getting home. Have a plan for checking in when your teen is going to be late. Do you want them to call if they’re going to be later than 11:00 PM? Or would you rather they call by 10:30 PM if they’re not going to make it by their 11:00 PM curfew? Setting a plan up ahead of time will help you to relax and allow them some of that breathing room we talked about earlier.
Have those difficult conversations anyway
Remember those awkward conversations your parents had with you about sex, drugs and alcohol? Now it’s your turn to have those same awkward conversations with your teens. You don’t have to give them all the details at once, simply start talking about these things while they are young. They’ll be much more likely to listen if you give them a few details at a time starting in the tween years.
If you don’t give your teen the truthful facts they’re going to hear things from their friends and these things might not be accurate. Be open and honest and swallow that embarrassment at least long enough to talk to them. Remember, they’re probably just as embarrassed as you are about these conversations. Keep an open door policy and answer questions as they arise for your teen.
Live by the same rules and morals you expect of your teens
If you aren’t living by the same rules and morals you expect of your teen how can you expect them to follow said rules? Actions speak louder than words and your teens are watching you whether you realize it or not.
Following these tips will help you to survive those turbulent teen years with minimal difficulties. You’ll have less resistance to rules and expectations when you set them out clearly before they’re needed and get an improved attitude in return for all of your efforts.