Cooking, cleaning, diapering, potty-training…these are only a FEW of the duties of a stay-at-home mom. Being a stay-at-home mom has its rewards, but let’s face it, sometimes, we don’t get enough “me” time. As a first time mom, I had trouble finding friends with similar interests that were also stay-at-home moms. After my son was born, my life went out the window. No more spur of the moment shopping trips, no more coffee runs for the fun of it, no more hair appointments without considering my sweet little boy. I’m sure every mom feels a tinge of exhaustion when thinking about doing things. Grocery store trips aren’t even easy anymore. Forgot the eggs? Well, if dear husband isn’t home, you find yourself asking, “How bad do I need eggs?” We can’t just “run” to the store anymore. For one item, it can be a hassle to put our little one in the car and “running” in and out isn’t an option. Things that were simple become a little overwhelming. The simplest things seem frustrating when you’re staying at home with your little one. “When can I take a shower? Will he be okay while I take a shower?” These are a couple of questions that run through every mom’s mind when a new baby is home.
So, how do you find time for yourself without breaking the bank and with your little one in tow? Something to keep in mind while reading this is to take the initiative to find something that makes YOU happy. So, here are a few suggestions.
1) Meetup.com: a web site that allows users to enter a search topic for a particular interest in a given area. I found playgroups to be very helpful. Specifically, a website called meetup.com. Here, you can enter a search for particular interests such as running, volunteering, infants, stay-at-home mom, etc. Meetup.com allows users to find other individuals in the local community that share those interests. I found 3 playgroups I enjoy through this web site. From there, I met other moms who were in the same boat. Some of them worked previously to staying at home, some of them have never worked, and some of them are fortunate enough to work from home. I met so many people and found a good amount of other children that my son could play with while I had adult conversations with other moms.
2) Random, friendly conversation with another parent. Let me explain this one in further detail. I’m a pretty shy person when trying to approach people I’m not formally introduced to…meaning I have a hard time randomly going up to someone and sparking a conversation. I have found that having my son around allows me to start a conversation with ease. I have met and become friends with numerous other parents just by randomly starting a conversation at a grocery store, coffee shop, or restaurant. Once we started talking about the kids, it was easier to make a friend. For example, one night at a restaurant I was walking around with my son after he and I had finished eating and saw another mom who was feeding her daughter vegetables like they were snacks. I was shocked! I couldn’t get my son to eat vegetables at all for the last few months. So, I went up to her and asked how she was able to get her daughter to eat vegetables like snacks. She explained that her daughter had always had vegetables (which I had done with my son prior to his disgust for vegetables), and that she just preferred vegetables. I was a little jealous, but we continued to talk and eventually exchanged numbers before we had to run off with the kids.
3) Movie days or nights with the little one(s). Some movie theaters now offer “Parent Movie Mornings” for those of us with kids. Depending on where you live and how the movie theater conducts this event, kid-friendly movies as well as movies we want to see are offered. Also, some movie theaters do a “Parents Movie Night” for those couples wanting to make it seem more like a date. At these movie theaters, they set aside a theater that caters to parents and their little ones that boasts “stroller parking, diaper changing tables, and crying is always welcome.” So, do a Google search in your city for the “Parent Movie Mornings or Parent Movie Nights.” If your local theater doesn’t offer this, perhaps suggesting it to the managerial staff would help spur the movement.
4) The YMCA. I would describe myself as moderately active. Pre-baby, I enjoyed playing tennis and working out every ONCE in awhile. Now that I have my little one, finding time alone to blow off some steam through working out has become essential. The YMCA is the perfect place for families on a budget. They offer great deals for families and have a Kids Place. The Kids Place has a 1.5 to 2 hour time limit while you and/or your hubby are working out, swimming, or taking a fun class offered at the Y. The local YMCA offers Zumba, Yoga, Pilates, and a variety of other free classes all throughout the day. You can even go twice a day as long as the child’s pick-up and drop off time are 4 hours apart. It’s a great resource for the family because when the kids are old enough, they even offer kid-friendly programs like ballet, gymnastics, swimming, etc. depending on your local YMCA. You can meet plenty of like-minded parents while enjoying some time being healthy and active!
5) Volunteer opportunities. Volunteering is a great way to stay connected in the community. Additionally, a long term volunteer activity will look great on the resume (if or when you decide to enter the workforce again). Here are some volunteer suggestions for the stay at home mom with baby or babies in tow. I have found that visiting the elderly is truly rewarding for both mom and baby. Many Assisted Living Homes are open to visits from a group or individual wanting to brighten the day of the residents. Many of the elderly truly enjoy seeing, chatting, and playing with you and your cute little ones. It brings so much joy to those in need of some cheerful activity. Smiling, laughing children are the perfect medicine for the lonely or disheartened. You can set up a group of other moms and babies to visit the Homes once a month or more if time allows. Also, beach clean-ups are a great way to help the environment and teach your kids respect for the Earth. Most beach clean-ups are pretty laid back, so you can take your time helping out while teaching your child about the environment. If you like to run, there are a few marathons that allow the use of jogging strollers. So, while you’re running for a cause, you can bring your kids along.
6) Baby Sign. Many cities have a free or a paid class for baby sign language. Baby sign has proven to be quite useful for the younger ones who want to communicate, but can’t. Additionally, baby sign enables parents to be more involved with children 2 and under with a form of communication. When looking for classes that are offered in your city, type “baby sign language classes” into Google search. From there, you can choose where you want to participate (and if you prefer to take a paid class).
I hope these suggestions will help other stay-at-home moms find something that works for them and their families. Also, to all other stay-at-home moms, thank you for doing what you do!