Fundamental Qualities to Look for in Finding a Mate

The desire to find a lifelong partner is central to every believer looking forward to settle. However, in many cases we miss the mark by looking at qualities that do not reflect a suitable future mate, but rather just show the likeability of a person at that particular time.

Infatuations have misled many, who realize their terrible mistake especially after they get married to their infatuated partner.

Marriages are divine, and therefore when searching for a suitable mate, one must take time to pray. There are five fundamental qualities that form the core of any successful relationship, of which I will discuss briefly on.

1. Committed.

Almost every single person will outline this quality which is central to their decisions. Let us look at the meaning of this quality and how it plays out in a relationship.

A committed person demonstrates a lifestyle of fidelity both in word and in deed. Take a note on the word ‘lifestyle’, which reflects a way of life. No one enjoys to be disappointed by broken promises, or failed appointments. Mathew 5: 37 says, “But let your yes be yes and your no be no, for whatever is more that these is from the evil one.”

I acknowledge the right of people to change their minds over their promises, and that’s ok. However, if you notice a pattern of this behavior, then red flags should be ringing up. Take note of his or her commitment to God, and in particular, during difficult times, and their response during these times will reflect their ability to remain committed, should challenges arise in the midst of your relationship.

2. Compatibility

Compatibility does not necessarily mean having identical personalities, for differences complement each other. By being compatible, you are searching for a partner whose lifestyle, beliefs and principles do not deviate a lot from you own. The most important one is the spiritual belief system. II Corinthians 6: 14 says, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

God’s design for us would only promote unity and oneness with Him, and we enjoy the full blessing when we reap the fruits of our patience for surely, He directs the steps of a righteous one. Similar lifestyles form a launching pad for a happy marriage, and also, there must be a balance in areas of friends, finances and social interests.

Note, if there is imbalance, then your core values are challenged.

3. Trustworthy

Perhaps the most desired quality, yet the scarcest, in a world full of mistrust. You need to search for a partner who values integrity.

Numbers 30:2 says, “If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind him by an agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do all that according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”

The fundamental of any good working relationship begins with trust. Trust in yourself that you can keep your own word, followed by trust in your partner.

A mate who honors his/her word proves to be a priceless asset to you as a future mate.

4. Faithfulness

A person of this quality demonstrates allegiance towards God and others.

Any situation, public or private does not cause this person to flip flop, but rather remains stable and consistent.

5. Giving

This quality is not about material giving, but about selfless behavior. Christ reflected a lifestyle of giving, denying Himself the pleasures and comfort of life, for the sake of others. A partner who puts the interest of others before his/her is one who will give you all the support you need when the need arises.

Remember perfect love casts out fear, 1st John 4: 18 – 19 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears is not made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.” Do not marry a partner for any other reason other than love, for marriage makes a relationship divine. Getting married means that something bigger that both of you is brining you together.

Pay more attention in planning your marriage, as you do your wedding, as a matter of fact, a wedding is only a means of making your relationship acceptable before God.

The journey of marriage is best taken with God being part of the union. Before marriage, you relationship can only be defined a human commitment. After marriage, the couple’s commitment is divine.

Remember, you are not married because you chose to, but rather because God said so.

Difference between Divine marriage and worldly marriage

Worldly marriage

· Marriage is a secular contract with the law · The opposite of love is hatred · Love is based on feeling · Love seeks instant gratification · There is always a divorce when things get tough · There is no common agreement, but individual pride takes center stage

Divine marriage

· Marriage is a divine covenant with God · Love has no opposite · Love is consistent at all times · Love cultivates patience with each other · Love cultivates long suffering, tolerate differences and endures all things · The common ground of agreement is God’s word

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