Sports Briefs: Theo Epstein Bar None

Joe: “Cubs Win World Series Under New GM Epstein.” Not so fast, my fine baseball enthusiasts. Before you see this headline, it will take a talented team with proper management and, as always, some good luck along the way.

Chris: No matter whether it’s a legendary president, a chipmunk or a baseball general manager, every time I hear the name Theodore, or Theo, I automatically picture the Huxtable’s only son. That is how it has been and will continue to be. I think Heathcliff is very proud of his son being financially stable and now responsible for a second cursed baseball team.

Brad: Maybe he felt he went as far as he could go with the Red Sox. Maybe it will be a good financial move for the Sox and for Epstein. I will be interested in seeing how well the Sox do without him.

Ralphie: I think it’s sad that he’s not going to be working with the team he’s always loved. I wonder how he feels if he has to play against the Red Sox.

Joe: Some new-bloods at Bosox Park can’t be all bad. The team is stale, as is management. And Francona is a pretty good baseball TV analyst, so let’s reshuffle the Boston lineup.

Brad: The team is not changing, so hopefully they will play as well as they did under Epstein’s reign.

Chris: The youthfulness and creativity Theo exhibited in his day-to-day operations in Boston impressed me. He was obviously able to get to work earlier than other general managers because he saved time each day not having to shave. It only seems like yesterday that Theo had an aerodynamic flattop and was graduating from New York University.

Ralphie: I think the Red Sox will miss him. I guess they will try to find somebody who can help them win the World Series like Epstein did.

Joe: The success Epstein had with the Red Sox was that he made them a contender. Shouldn’t be that difficult to turn the Cubs into a contender, unless you remember that the division has the Cardinals and Brewers.

Brad: I imagine that he will start turning them into a championship team right away.

Chris: There is an interesting blueprint to success with Theo’s accomplishments. The 2004 Red Sox were a fun-loving bunch who had a hoot playing baseball. (I just said “hoot.”) Whereas the 2007 Red Sox were more professional and business-like, often wearing suits and ties to play in. However, both of these teams had one thing in common: they both were paid biweekly using Brink’s trucks.

Ralphie: It’s always important to have a good leader. He can’t win the games by himself, but he will help them win games.

Joe: GMs are the underpinning upon which the threadwork of the team is stretched. You can’t have a contender without them, but you can have a bad team in spite of them.

Brad: A team is only as good as its players and managers, so maybe he will be able to bring out the best in the Cubs players and take them to the same winning level as the Sox.

Chris: Given his love of $95 Gordon Gartrelle shirts, Theo may authorize new uniforms for the Cubs. And given the history of the franchise, that may be an adequate disguise for Steve Bartman, who rumor has it, rides a billy goat to work each day.

Ralphie: I hope it makes them better. Sometimes, it’s really good to get a new coach. I guess a new general manager would be sort of like that.

Joe: Only time will tell if Epstein can be the “Rally Squirrel” for the baby bears.

Ralphie: He did a good job with the Red Sox, and I think he will do a good job with the Cubs, too.

Brad: They play a very important role in the teams. It takes a combination of good players and good leadership to win. A player can be a great player, but without a good leader putting them where they will play their strengths the best, a player is just a player.

Chris: If that anecdote was not quite so lengthy, I would commission to have it engraved on a wooden plaque for Theo’s new office.

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