Sunday Evening: Oberon Food Court
“Change your hairstyle dude. Typical oily haired Mallu lag rahe ho”, screamed my North Indian friend. The regional stereotypic talk did irritate me, but then the fact dawned on me. I had kept the same hairstyle for nearly four years. I was so much in ease with my oily combed back hair that I failed to recognize the new era of hair style changes that had crept up on the human race. Like Barack Obama says “Change is good”, or wait — Did Godrej say that — Ah who cares –
Monday Evening: Barber Shop (Now called Hair Grooming Studio)
You can wait at the bus stop, at a cinema hall, or even at a busy hotel, but waiting for a ‘hair cut’ isn’t exactly the way I like to spend my evenings. It takes about 42 minutes and 25 seconds (Yes, was counting) for the rainbow hair colored stylist to invite me to the throne.
Me: I need a change of hair style.
H.S: Sure. That’s why I am here, what style you got in mind?
Whenever I normally visit a barber, my exact opening dialogue is “Shorten my hair”. This is a new domain.
Me: What are the new styles? What would suit me?
The hair stylist strokes my hair like he is going to paint, and goes into deep thought.
H.S: I can spike it up, that’s the new trend, and Ta Ladies find it hot.
Now “HOT” is a gross exaggeration. If your hair style made you hot, every Tomachan, Dickappan, and Harry Chandran would be one hair cut away from Bollywood. But then, you never argue with a barber, especially one who calls himself a hair stylist.
Me: Ok, anything that looks good. Let’s try spiking.
The hairstylist seemed to invoke his innate artistic abilities and starts off on a journey through my hair.
I close my eyes and pray that my ‘ears’ aren’t sacrificed.
5 minutes later
H.S: All done.
I look into the mirror. I actually don’t see much of a change, other than messier hair.
Me: Can’t you shorten my hair a little more?
The hair stylist seems upset on my ignorance of his piece of art.
H.S: No, this is the way it should look like. You won’t look good with shorter hair.
He wants to end the conversation, as he has another prey waiting.
Me: Ok, Can I use the comb, the sides look so messy.
H.S: No mister, now see, this is the new trend, hair should look messy, it’s the ‘just outta bed look’. The new ishtyle of youngsters.
No way, I was going to win this battle, I pay the cutting fees and leave.
This very informative discourse with the hair stylist made me realize one undeniable fact. THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR. Mankind has come full cycle. Don’t believe me??..
The stats reveal:-
Neanderthal man – Messy Unkempt hair, whole race wiped out of earth. 1st – 20th Century Man – Better hair grooming style, leaps ahead in science, technology, culture. 21st Century Man – Messy Unkempt hair, Future Unknown!!! —
Now you readers, please be the change.
COMB YOUR HAIR, SAVE THE WORLD.