Wondering which celeb was next in line to join Metta World Peace and Elisabetta Canalis in the dissed and dismissed club on “Dancing with the Stars” 2011? Here’s a look back at the complete October 4 results show, which featured performances by Mary J. Blige, some hoofing by “DWTS” judge Len Goodman, and of course, the booting of yet another celebrity Mirrorball hopeful.
Mary J. Blige opened the elimination show with her hit “Real Love”. The singer greeted the crowd cheerfully and encouraged them to sing along. What a refreshing jolt of interactivity! “DWTS” pro Val “the little bro” Chmerkovskiy cut a rug with partner Dasha in accompaniment. Good way to starts things off.
Co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke-Charvet got the elimination action started moments later by calling three popular couples forward to hear their fates. Activist Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer, talk show host and actress Ricki Lake and Derek Hough, and soap star and war veteran J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff all trooped onto the ballroom floor to hear the news. The first couple saved to dance again were J.R. and Karina, who danced the week’s most emotional routine. They were quickly followed to safety by Ricki and Derek. Much to everyone’s surprise, Chaz and Lacey were also deemed safe to dance again. Which pretty much means that someone who doesn’t deserve to be eliminated will get the boot. How sucky. But anyway.
Head judging honcho Len Goodman kept the train chugging toward Big Reveal Land by calling singer Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani forward to perform the week’s encore dance. Chynna has the best, most elegant lines in the competition. Ricki may have fancy feet, but she can’t touch Chynna’s grace. ‘Nuff said.
And then whoosh, more “Dancing with the Stars” results! Up to hear their fates were legal expert Nancy Grace and Tristan MacManus, soccer star Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, fashion guru Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya, and reality star Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke. Rob and Cheryl were first to be declared safe to dance again, while Carson and Anna found themselves in jeopardy. Nancy and Tristan passed safely to week 4, while Hope and Maks entered the danger zone. What? What? I’m sputtering. How is Carson in danger? Craziness. Insanity. His Foxtrot was one of the most purely entertaining dances I’ve seen in 13 seasons of “Dancing with the Stars”! I demand a recount. But anyway.
After a break, the first fluff segment aired. It featured the contestants talking through the “6 Degrees of DWTS”. Blah blah. Really, just get to the meat of the show. Please. But the best connection? Chaz and Chynna had playdates when they were kids. How aw is that? Too aw.
With that out of the way, Tom and Brooke revealed that “Dancing with the Stars” week 4 will feature the couples dancing to music from major movie soundtracks. To get us ready for the greatness to come, the “DWTS” troupe plus pro hoofers Peta Murgatroyd and Val performed a routine to “Tara’s Theme” from “Gone with the Wind”. It was, of course, very classy. Never have I seen so many hoops skirts on the ballroom floor. And then there was a quickie video announcement by ex-pro Julianne Hough pimping her planned appearance on next week’s results show. Thirty minutes down, thirty to go.
Brooke chatted with four couples back stage. I guess the biggest bit of info I gleaned was that Cher will be in the “DWTS” ballroom next week. Otherwise it was sort of yawnie, so I’m skippin’ the deets.
Instead, I’ll move onto the next performance, the evening’s Macy*s Stars of Dance routine. Grammy winner Estelle got “The Twist” started off all by her lonesome before The Man Chubby Checker himself joined her. Carrie Ann Inaba looked completely starstruck. Len did a little twistin’ of his own. It was a little chaotic, but in a really good way. So a bi ol’ woot for that one.
After a commercial break, Mary J. Blige returned to the ballroom with another musical selection, “Another Hour and a Day”. She was joined by a small herd of guys dressed in all black. It was good, but I was totally distracted by her blue stiletto boots, trying to figure out how she managed to avoid falling down. Amazing.
With 10 minutes remaining, the last three couples –Chynna and Tony, David and Kym Johnson, and Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas– headed to the stage to hear their fates. Cleared to hoof it again were Chynna and Tony, followed by David and Kym (who no doubt benefited from bounceback votes after surviving the week 2 bottom 2). Kristin and Mark found themselves in jeopardy. What? What? Insanity. I’m not amused, crazy voters. Not amused at all.
So who gets the boot from “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 this week, Hope Solo, Carson Kressley or Kristin Cavallari? How about none of them. Oh, that’s not an option? Hmph. Well, at least Carson and Anna survived to dance again. But that left just two, though not necessarily the bottom two, to face the music and the hot glare of the red lights. Len was infuriated by the results, and told Brooke that it was “just madness”. I agree, Len. I agree.
Following the requisite dramatic music, a stunned Kristin Cavallari was dismissed from the “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 competition. Kristin admitted to being “a little surprised” by the news, but acquiesced that “it is what it is”.
Okay America, so seriously: Stop voting for Chaz Bono. This is shades of the Sabrina Bryan debacle all over again, and it’s inexcusable and disgusting all at once that someone as talented as Kristin would get the boot so early on. It’s almost enough to make me stop watching.
But I’ll soldier on. “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 resumes next week on ABC. Tune in. Or you can just check in with me. You know I’ll be watching. (Probably.)