Can you tickle a woman when she is pregnant

Can you tickle a woman when she is pregnant

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Yes, old wives tales about the cause of stuttering, tickling the baby or pregnant mother being two.

Related Questions Answered on Y!Answers

Are these jokes funny enough to tickle your funny bones?

Q: The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,’Oh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating Susan!’A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher’s hand. He said, ‘Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon Damned good!’The preacher said, ‘Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity.’The man said, ‘I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!’The preacher said, ‘No shit?’Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penisAfter examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, ‘Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.’The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.’Gee, Mom,’ he exclaimed. ‘For me?”Just take two,’ Brenda replied. ‘The rest are for your father.’One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense. ‘Your Honor,’ she began coolly, ‘I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.’A doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’ After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.’Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, ‘Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?’ Bob replies, ‘Girlfriend? She’s my wife!’ They are knocked over, but continue to ask. ‘So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?’ ‘I lied about my age’, Bob replies. ‘What, did you tell her you were only 50?’ Bob smiles and says, ‘No, I told her I was 90.’Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. ‘These,’ she explained, ‘are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.’ She then asked, ‘What do you do in America with your old goats?’ A spry old gentleman answered, ‘They send us on bus tours! Make the most of what you can do on your PC and the Web, just the way you want. Windows Live

A: Pretty funny i was cracking up on a few :PWhat’s with the PC ad?

Cant you just stop laughing on these extremely tickling preggo jokes?

Q: Pregnancy and Birth – F.A.Q.Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs ?A: You’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at allQ: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control ?A: A misconceptionQ: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant ?A: Have sex just once a yearQ: What is a chastity belt ?A: A labor-saving deviceQ: When does a woman’s biological clock start ticking ?A: Right after she looks in the mirror and thinks, “On my God, crow’s feet !”Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving ?A: For men to be the ones who get pregnantQ: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex ?A: ChildbirthQ: Should I have a baby after 35 ?A. No, 35 children is way too many alreadyQ: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move ?A: With any luck, right after he finishes collegeQ: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu ?A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get betterQ: Does pregnancy affect a woman’s memory ?A: Most of the ladies I asked don’t rememberQ: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy ?A: Yes, your bladderQ: Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving ?A: Depends on what your doing with themQ: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why ?A: Cause you’re fatter then they are,Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that she’s borderline irrational.A: So what’s your question ?Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor ?A: When the sex is between your husband and another womanQ: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold ?A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for himQ: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy ?A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladderQ: What are forceps ?A: Giant baby tweezersQ: What’s the best way to get a man to give up his seat to a pregnant woman ?A: Brute forceQ: How do I know if my baby has dropped ?A: He/She will start crying. Be more careful !Q: How long is the average woman in labor ?A: Whatever she says, divided by twoQ: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right ?A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air currentQ: When is the best time to get an epidural ?A: Right after you find out you’re pregnantQ: Is there a reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor ?A: Not unless the word “alimony” is a concern for youQ: I’m modest. Once I start to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position ?A: Authorized hospital personnel only — doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.Q: What does it mean when the baby’s head is crowning ?A: It means you feel as thought not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make it’s way out of youQ: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth ?A: Yes, pregnancyQ: Does labor cause hemorrhoids ?A: Labor causes anything you want to blame it forQ: When should a baby not be circumcised ?A: When it’s a girl.Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk ?A: In your breastsQ: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps ?A: Yes, baby lipsQ: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth ?A: It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurseQ: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing ?A: When you see teeth marksQ: What is the grasp reflex ?A: The reaction of new father’s when he sees new mother’s breasts.Q: Can a mother get pregnant while nursing ?A: Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.Q: What happens to disposable diapers after they’re thrown away ?A: They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in case of global chemical warfare.Q: Do I have to have a baby shower ?A: Not if your change the baby’s diaper very quicklyQ: What causes baby blues ?A: Tanned, hard-bodied bimbosQ: What is colic ?A: A reminder for new parents to use birth controlQ: What are night terrors ?A: Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she’s pregnant againQ: Nannies aren’t cheap are they ?A: Not usually, but occasionally you’ll find a floozyQ: Will I love my dog less when the baby is born ?A: No, but your husband will most likely get on your nervesQ: What are the terrible twos ?A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkeyQ: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to act normal ?A: Possibly when the kids are in college

A: Funny and far too true to life.

What ridiculous laws have you broken…?

Q: Whats the most ridiculous law you do or dont abide by…………?ok this was on the Y! news page and it tickled me…my sister is a policewoman and it made me giggle to think of her handing over her helmet for someone to pee into…;0)ignore the percents they were for a voting poll but i couldnt get rid of them when i copied it without it deleting more of the item…;0)Most ridiculous British law:1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (four percent)7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (three percent)9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)

A: Sorry, but being from Liverpool, I can tell you that the topless tropical fish store one is an urban myth, which is a pity.Here are some more 1. It is illegal for taxi drivers to carry rabid dogs or corpses. 2. A taxi driver must ask passengers if they are suffering from plague or smallpox. 3. A member of the House of Commons is not allowed to resign his seat. However, if one wants to leave the post, he applies for (and is automatically granted) the Stewardship of the Aylesbury Hundred, which is a job with no duties or pay but which makes him ineligible for membership of Parliament. 4. Anyone entering the Houses of Parliament while wearing a suit of armour is liable to be arrested. 5. Any whale washed up on the shore is the property of the Queen, so she can use its bones for her corset. 6. In Hereford you can shoot a Welsh person on a Sunday, with a longbow, in the Cathedral Close. 7. You can shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow in Chester, inside the city walls and after midnight. 8. It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. 9. A bed may not be hung out of a window. 10. It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance. 11. It is illegal to be drunk on licenced premises. 12. Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end may be sentenced to 24 hours in the stocks. 13. Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin. 14. It is illegal to eat mince pies on December 25. 15. In London it is illegal to hail a taxi while suffering from bubonic plague. 16. It is illegal to go within 100 yards of the queen when not wearing socks.