What are a few dirty jokes

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What are a few dirty your moma jokes
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a few dirty jokes?
Q: a horny husband was helping his wife set a password for a computer. He typed PENIS. the wife fell out of the chair laughing when it said password not long enough.——————————————————————————a woman uses a hair dryer between her legs and her boyfriend walks in and asked “what are you doing?” she said, “heating up your dinner”———————————————————————————-how do you know when your too drunk to drive? when you swerve to miss a tree and realize its the airfreshner hanging in the mirror!!—————————————————————————a woman cooks some deer but doesnt tell the kids what it is. so she gives a clue, to the kids, your dad eats it.son screams “dont eat it, its p*ssy”have you heard about the new medication doctors are giving depressed lesbians? its called trymenagain————————————————–why does miss piggy clean her p*ssy with honey and lemons?because kermit likes sweet and sour pork.i said they were DIRTY joke too the people who are saying eww!!!
A: hilarious,i love them
Gimme your best dirty jokes. I got a few.?
Q: I didn’t make up these so don’t give me the credit. I wish I did cause they’re hilarious. The more offensive, the better. Why did so many blacks get killed in Vietnam?Because every time the sergeant said “GET DOWN” they all stood up and started dancing.Jesus walks into a Holiday Inn. He places three nails and a hammer on the desk. Jesus asks “could you put me up for the night?”What’s the difference between an oil painting and Jesus?It only takes one nail to hang an oil painting…What is white and falls from the sky?the cuming of the lord.What do you call a black priest?HOLY SH1T!!!!!!!Q: What’s that useless piece of skin around a vagina called?A: A woman!What do blondes and noodles have in common?They wiggle when you eat them!Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive?Because she was a womanThere was a blonde on her way to the airportwhen she saw a sign that said “Airport left” ……..So she turned around and went home.A man comes home from work one day and tells his wife that he just bought a pack of Olympic condoms. His wife asks which ones should they try first and he replies “we’ll try the silver medal condom first ok?” and she says “yes that’s fine, at least that means this time you WONT COME FIRST!!”Man sitting by a lake, when a guy in a flowing white robe walks by… “who are you asks the guy?””I’m Jesus”, replies the man”prove it”, says the guySo Jesus walks out on top of the lake. First it was ok but slowly but started to sink.See!! Shouts the guy, “I knew you weren’t Jesus.”I used to be able to do this before they put these holes in my feet…replies Jesus. What’s the difference between a blonde and a and a mosquito?When you slap a mosquito it stops suckingHow do two gay guys settle a dispute?They go outside and exchange blows.Why does Barbie have trouble getting pregnant?Because Ken always comes in a box!Chuck Norris took a trip to the Virgin Islands. When he left, they were just the Islands.what is better than winning the gold medal in the Special Olympics? not being retardedBaby you need to let me get into your pants.Lady replies: Why?, there’s already one ass in themhow do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?give the bitch a shovelwhat’s the difference between an Ethiopian and a pair of jeansthe pair jeans only has one fly on itWhy aren’t black babies allowed to play in the sandbox?The cat will bury themwhat are the similarities between a brick and a fat chick?eventually they will both get laid by a Mexican
A: Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?A: Because they are tired of using their own.Q: What’s common between men and video?A: Both gobackward…forward…backward…forward…backward….forward…stop and eject.Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if itdoesn’t come it means you are f*cked !Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?A: A teabag.
Few jokes for U?
Q: A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. “Are you the landlord?” she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no” he replies. “Can you get him for me – I need to speak to him?” she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. “Im afraid I cant” breathes the barman – clearly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?” “Yes there is. I need you to give him a message” she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. “Tell him that there is no loo paper in the ladies.”There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most.What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It’s not working SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives… SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down…….. (And those of you who thought it would be a dirty ending, Pray for forgiveness you heathens!)
A: Haha, you got me on the nun joke, funny!Although I wasn’t HOPING for a dirty ending, more like wondering where you were going with it…
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